Dear Dad,
I was at a wedding this past weekend and reality set in. I watched the bride dance with her father and a sadness hit me. I’ve known for the last 3 1/2 years that would never happen at my wedding, but Saturday night I finally knew. It was real.
I didn’t allow myself to cry because that day wasn’t about me. It was a celebration for the bride and her groom as they committed to spend the rest of their lives together. But my heart cried.
Addiction took our father/daughter dance away. It stole the joy of having my daddy walk me down the aisle and give me away. Addiction robbed my future husband of asking you for my hand in marriage.
Addiction steals lives without an ounce of remorse. (Tweet that)
I hate addiction and everything it represents. Sadness. Abuse. Abandonment. Brokeneness. Failure. Fear.
I saw all of those in your eyes during your lifetime. I rarely saw glimpses of hope, but when I did, your eyes sparkled. When I would see a dream fill your mind, your smile was contagious. But the smile and the hope never stuck around long enough.
I won’t dwell on my sadness. I’ll grieve I’m sure. I just wanted you to know that I wish I could have taken your addiction away for you. I wish I could have kept it from destroying your life. But I couldn’t.
You won’t walk me down the aisle. You won’t meet the man I say “I do” to. You won’t dance with me on earth. But I love you still. I miss you still.
Someday we’ll have our dance…
This touches my heart. What a good reminder of how our sin never affects just us. Those we love are hurt by it too. Hugs to you friend.
Thanks Donya. Hugs back atcha.
Beautiful, Sundi, It’s difficult to watch someone we carry to deeply for to make choices that destroy them and that cause pain to the many who love them.
Thank you Eileen. I miss him everyday.
Thinking of you. I never got to have my Father Daughter dance either, but it was due to cancer and not an addiction. I can’t imagine how hard it is to process and grieve. Just know that God will be near you when that day comes and will surround you with love.
Thanks Tammy. My dad had cancer when he died too. Unfortunately, his addiction was just too much and it’s believed he accidentally overdosed. The good news though, I got to bring him to Christ before he died.
wow thankyou for sharing your post was touching. Also what touched me is although he was addicted you still had a ton of love for him!
It wasn’t always that way.
Sundi Jo, do you believe your did will dance with you in heaven?
Yes Debra, I do. I had the opportunity to bring my dad to know Christ two months before he died.
I’m sorry for your loss but I celebrate with you the future opportunities we will have to dance with our dads in heaven.
So many things I can’t do with my dad, God took Him so young.
When I watch my son, I long to share it with my dad…but I can’t.
But someday, I’ll get to introduce my son to his Papa. I can’t wait!
What a day when we’ll be introduced with those who knew Christ, and celebrate with Jesus Himself.
Sobering…
Thanks Joseph
A very touching post. I never thought of it that way before. Thank you for sharing such a tender event and emotion with us. I love you, Sundi Jo.
Thanks Rosella.
What a touching post Sundi Jo. Your heart is so big and you are always so willing to share with others no matter how sad it can be for you. Tom and I are always here for you. We love you.
I love you more and more as I get to know you and your heart. You are beautiful!!