One of the biggest steps I took in 2011 was calling myself a writer. The more I said the words, the more I believed them. People would ask me, “What do you do?” I replied, “I’m a writer.” The first 20 times I laughed inside, but after time, I started to believe it. Now I’m not ashamed to say it.

I’m still growing and plan to never stop. My content has gotten richer over the course of 2011. I want it to be even better in 2012. I want to reach more people with my words.

Are you wanting to write? Is this going to be your year?

Here are few tips on becoming a better writer in 2012:

• Accept Constructive Critiscm - Having another pair of eyes is helpful. If someone points out a typo in your blog, don’t let your pride swell up. Be grateful that they were willing to help you look like a better writer by telling you. Think about the other 50 that didn’t, perhaps because they didn’t want to offend you. Ask people for feedback. When you ask though, be ready for their answer.
• Keep Writing - Even if it’s an idea, write it down. Do it when you don’t feel like it. Write a week’s worth of blog posts. Journal about your day. Write a letter to your long lost cousin. Write the grocery list. Write something!
• Never Stop Learning  - Read as many books as you can get your hands on. Not just about writing – about everything. Leadership. War. Faith. Sports. Connect with others. See what other people are doing. Study them. Find the best in your market and see how they do things. Ask them questions.
• Be Authentic - Don’t hide who you are. Get down to the nitty gritty. Sometimes it’s necessary. Tell stories. Be honest. When you fail at something, write about it. When you have something to celebrate, write about it.
• Believe In Who You Are - If you are serious about what you want to do, then tell yourself and others around you who you are. If you write, then you’re a writer. If you play drums, you’re a drummer. Stop letting fear and doubt get in your way and tell yourself a thousand times a day if you have to just who you are.

Question: What is some other advice you have for those seeking to do something better in 2012? Comment below…

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Thanks for reading. I'm so blessed you chose to stop by Lead. Love. Laugh. Five Tips to Becoming a Better Writer is a post from: Sundi Jo P.S. YOU'RE AWESOME!

When I was in middle school we were headed to a band competition. I had practiced this particular composition what seemed like a million times. I played the flute day and night preparing for what I knew to be something important. My band teacher was impressed and she knew I was ready.

photo credit: rachael furn (creative commons)

The morning of the competition a friend sat down on my flute and bent it. I sobbed, kicked a few things, calmed down and reassured my friend it was okay. I would figure something out. I got to school and another student offered to let me borrow hers. Then I realized I had forgotten my sheet music with my highlights and notes. There was no time to go back home and get them before the bus left. I was devastated.

I stood there before many strangers and peers and bombed. I was nervous. I was frustrated that it wasn’t my flute. And I was looking at a crisp, clean set of music notes that I knew weren’t mine. My notes were off and you could hear the nervousness in my breath. Not to mention the look on my teachers’ face telling me I definitely failed.

I sat against the window of the bus on the way home and cried. I had worked for nothing. I had spent countless hours on something only to fail. People were dissapointed in me and I was dissapointed in myself. To this day I don’t particularly care to see a flute.

My mom tried to reassure me that everything would be okay. My non flute playing friends told me it was no big deal. “Be proud that you tried. You’ll do better next year. Let’s go get some ice cream and forget about it.”

Do you know what I really needed? Silence. Understanding. Just a shoulder to cry on.

I needed empathy. 

Sometimes I struggle to offer that to others because I want to fix things. If you’re crying, let me fix it. If you’re sad, let me tell a joke to make you laugh. If you’re sick, let me bring you soup. If you’re mad let me beat someone up. (Okay, that last one is a joke. Kinda.)

But sometimes people just need to cry. I need to be sad with them – not focus on making them smile. I need to let them be angry and just be there when they’re done.

We need to let people fail. And when they do consider, the next step before we just “do” the next step. Do they need a hug? Do they need words of affirmation? Do they simply need you to sit there with them and just “be?”

Understand with them.

What is something else I didn’t mention we can offer someone through their failures? Comment below…

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Stumbleupon

Joking aside, I’m glad I did. Writer Jeff Goins highly recommended it in a blog post as a way to increase traffic to your website. I decided to jump on the wagon.

SU is an engine that allows you to skim through web pages, deciding whether you like the content you have just read, or dislike it. Your stumbles are based on that of categories you choose and what your other connections have decided they enjoyed.

Whether it’s marketing, sports, or humor you enjoy, it allows you to find some of the best content on the web with a few clicks.

Since using SU, my blog traffic has increased. I still have a way to go, but I’m impressed thus far with how quickly it has brough traffic to my site. Not to mention, the other great content I’ve found and other bloggers I’ve been able to connect with.

How to use Stumbleupon:

• Visit the website
• Sign up (free)
• Share your interests
• Download the “Stumble” toolbar for your browser (Awesome tool)
• You’re stumbling

Don’t just share your content. Be careful not to make it only about you. Of course you can share your own stuff, but let others know there is more out there than just you.

Have you stumbled yet? Share some of your favorite content so I can add it to my favorites. Comment below…

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Let me say this first. I don’t know Seal or Heidi Klum. I know he was “Kissed by a rose” and she hosts a successful television show. I’ve never had a glimpse into their personal lives.

photo credit: fatty tuna (creative commons)

Secondly, that’s not important right now. In a statement in a recent article on people, this is what Seal had to say:

The separation, he tells DeGeneres, left him and Klum just as “shocked” as everybody. But he says the pair found that “you just grow apart after a while.”

Really, you just grow apart?

Give me a break!

I thought that once too, before I knew Jesus. There isn’t anything in Scripture that says, “When you get tired of each other, feel free to separate. I’m sorry you’ve grown apart. Better luck in the next marriage.”

Of course the common, “We’re still going to be friends for the children” statement comes out. May I be honest? That’s a lie and it comes right out of Satan’s mouth.

It breaks my heart that another set of innocent children are about to watch their parents make the worst mistake of their lives. It breaks my heart to know that the example being set by their “leaders” is one of quitting. It saddens me that the thought will run through their minds multiple times throughout life, Did I do something wrong? 

Why do we quit fighting when things get hard? That’s when we should dig our heels in and refuse to give up. I’m preaching this to myself. It’s not just in marriages.

It’s in everything!

Faith. Work. School. Dreams. Health.

Jesus didn’t promise us everything would always be peachy and that we wouldn’t have struggles in relationships. As a matter of fact, He tells us we’ll have trouble in this world. But He also tells the good news:

I have overcome the world!

We’re tossing faith aside because of our feelings and it’s destroying not only our lives when we make these decisions, but the lives of others. What if we committed to fighting?

What if we stopped running and made the effort to trust the promises of Jesus? 

Join me in prayer for not only the marriage of these two, but the marriage of all those who desperately need a Savior to rescue them.

Thanks for reading. I'm so blessed you chose to stop by Lead. Love. Laugh. Sealed By the Kiss of Lies is a post from: Sundi Jo P.S. YOU'RE AWESOME!

photo credit: twitter support

Several months ago I narrowed down the number of people I followed on Twitter significantly. I unfollowed people who hadn’t had activity in the previous few weeks, the last several months, or people who I didn’t feel were providing good enough content for me to follow. I did a slighter version of what Michael Hyatt calls “Twitter Bankruptcy.” 

That even included some friends that thought they would enjoy Twitter when they first started, but hadn’t logged in again since. Since we’re still on speaking terms I’ll assume they weren’t offended. (Or perhaps I just let the cat out of the bag)

I don’t adhere to the old rule that following someone back when they follow you is the right thing to do. I used to because that’s what someone simply said to do. I disagree. There are actual several reasons I now disagree. Here are four reasons I won’t follow you back on Twitter:

1. My follow request must be approved first - If you are so afraid that the wrong person is going to follow you that you need to monitor so closely as to approve first, then perhaps Twitter is not for you. Approving pending friend requests on Facebook is one thing, but Twitter is a completely different ballgame.
2. You have the DM option turned off – I like to send personal messages to each person that follows me, taking the time to thank them for following and to let them know I am excited about connecting with them. Unless you’re Ashton Kutcher, you’re not high-ranking enough that you have to worry about getting your inbox filled up.
3. Your follower/following ratio is out of balance – If you’re following 980 people and only have 150 followers, I’m not interested. It means you’re trying to sell me something and could care less what I have to say. No thank you. If you are following 85 people and only have 30 followers, that’s a little different. That tells me you are trying to build up your list and that you’re probably new to Twitter.
4. You send an auto reply - I can’t tell you how tacky and unprofessional this is. It says to your followers, “I don’t have time to really thank you for following but thanks for stopping by anyway.” You may not have time every day to sit down and reply to all of your new followers. I don’t. I designate time every two or three weeks to go through my new followers and message them. Though I may use a standard message, I’m still sending it and they know it’s personal. Here’s a sample of what I send:

“Name, thanks for following. How is your Friday? I look forward to connecting with you. Follow me on FB too: sundijoonfacebook.com.

What am I missing?

What are some other reasons for not following someone on Twitter? Comment below…

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photo credit: kenjonbro

I used to be the queen of making excuses.

I can’t lose weight because it’s too hard. 

I can’t work there because I won’t get along with the people. 

I shouldn’t have to apologize because she started it. 

You should feel sorry for me because I was abused as a kid. 

I didn’t like taking responsibility for my actions. Why would I want to? I’d have to take a look in the mirror and realize what a mess I really was. There was a time in my life that people couldn’t rely on me. They couldn’t trust I would be there when I said I would. Because I made poor decisions in certain areas of my life it was hard to build trust in other areas.

I’m still working today to rebuild trust completely.

I attended a networking meeting yesterday morning. In the room sat over 30 business professionals prepared to share the successes in their business, as well as how each person in the room could help him/or to grow. Each week in our meeting we stand and give the results of the previous meeting.

Did we have any referrals? Did those referrals turn into a sale?

As the gentleman next to me stood up, immediate excuses began to pour out as to why he wasn’t able to report his stats accurately. He didn’t have time. Something came up. You may be thinking, that’s not a big deal, so he didn’t have time to do some things. But the excuse was the same last week, the week before that, and the week before that.

As individuals within the group tried to help the gentleman with input on how implementing certain actions would make things easier for him, he didn’t receive the feedback well. As a matter of fact, before one person could finish, he had another excuse lined up. Not only that, but he felt the need to get his point across with some extra profanity.

Will I refer people to him for business? No. 

Though he may be great at what he does, my first impression stated loud and clear that I couldn’t rely on him to go that far. If he made excuses for the simple things, would he make excuses for the bigger? I don’t want to take that risk.

As I have spent the last few years trying to earn the trust of others and build a reputation for doing what I say I will do, I have learned just how important integrity is, as well as sticking to the values you say you have. Walking the walk – not just talking the talk.

As each moment of following through with my words and actions go by, more people reach out to me with faith. I have proved, and am still doing so, that my values and integrity line up with my actions. I will never stop growing in that area.

None of us ever should. 

Are you making excuses instead of following through?

Join the conversation. Have you experienced a similar situation as the example above? How did you deal with it? Comment below…

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As I said last year, “You know it’s a good book when it’s 2 am and you are wide awake, living in the moment with FBI agent Dinah Harris.”

New Leaf Publishing Group, publsisher for the book, is offereing a great promotion from now until January 31, and it’s an opportunity you don’t want to miss!

Get Deadly Disclosures in digital format for only .99 cents

Here’s what Cave had to say about the opportunity to get this book at such a great price:

 Question: Have you enjoyed the Dinah Harris series yet? Comment below…

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photo credit: seanmcgrath (creative commons)

I’ve heard that line many times throughout my life, mostly when I missed the last crumble of the delicious looking snack I had my heart set on.

Last night I heard it in a completely different context.

I read those words from Ronnie Floyd in Our Last Great Hope: Awakening the Great Commission last night as I sweated through the elliptical workout. But he had something else to add.

You snooze, you lose. And what you lose might forever slip from your grasp.”

What was he referring to?

Telling others about Christ.

Following the promptings of  The Great Commission. 

Salvation.

Have you ever fallen asleep at your job? Do you tend to push the snooze button several times in the morning before getting up? I push it at least three times before I roll out of bed. We may look at those things and think no big deal. 

What if we’re falling asleep on the job of sharing The Gospel? 

Are we pushing the snooze button on God’s alarm telling us it’s time to wake up and do something? 

I want to hear God’s spiritual wake up call. I don’t want to make things right with God later. I want to make things right now!

We’ve gotten too comfortable as Christians. We’ve become entitled to think we’re not called to “reach the ends of the earth.” Does that mean we should all travel to Africa tomorrow? No.

It does mean, however, that it’s time to get off our Christian labeled behinds and actually start being followers of Jesus Christ. Many people attend church and serve on committees thinking that’s all they need to do to get to Heaven. But when the day comes they arrive in Heaven, Jesus will ask, “Do I know you?”

It’s time to take action. It’s time to stop sleeping on the job. It’s time to stop pushing snooze and wake up. Let’s go!

You snooze, you lose. And what you lose might forever slip from your grasp.

Join the conversation. What can you do today to bring The Gospel to reality? Comment below.. 

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Bonhoeffer: Pastor, Martyr, Prophet, Spy. 

I thought I’d give it another shot at reading about history, and when December 1941: 31 Days that Changed America and Saved the World, presented itself I took the opportunity to review it.

I love the work and time that Craig Shirley put into the book. I can’t imagine how many countless hours he spent thumbing through newspaper after newspaper, reading books and talking with others to put this piece together.

December 1941 takes you through the days leading up to Pearl Harbor, with each chapter focusing on one day. I have to say that after chapter one I was ready to close the book. Not that details aren’t important, but I couldn’t get drawn in.

I moved on to chapter two, hoping for better results, but still the same. Too many details and not enough substance. I was a little surprised by the fact that it was published by Thomas Nelson Publishers, the largest Christian publishing company. I’m still not quite sure how it fit into the category of Christianity. In all fairness though, I didn’t complete the book, so perhaps it did later on.

There aren’t too many books I stop reading, but this one I had to. I’m sorry to say, but I was disappointed. That doesn’t go to say that someone else won’t think it’s the best thing since sliced bread.

I’d love your thoughts. What book have you started to read but just couldn’t make it to the end? Comment below… 

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photo credit: d petzold photography (creative commons)

I like to read. Okay, that may be a bit of an understatement.

I love to read!

I’m a fast reader so it doesn’t take me long to finish a book. But one book I’ve been working through slowly is The 4-Hour Workweek by Timothy Ferris. He has given me many things to think about and he actually puts practices and exercises in the book for you to take part in.

He recently challenged me to take part in what he calls The Eye Gaze. Ferris challenges his readers to practice gazing into the eyes of others for two days, whether it’s people on the street or conversational partners.

The kicker?

You have to do it until they break the gaze. 

Since my word for 2012 is Radical, I thought to myself, why not give it a try? 

The result?

In the last few days I’ve learned several things from Ferris’ Eye Gaze test.

I’m still very insecure when it comes to looking people in the eyes - What are they thinking right now? Are they paying attention to my teenage acne and the dark circles under my eyes caused by two of my arch enemies, hormonal imbalance and insomnia? Why are they still staring? What am I supposed to do now?

I’m not the only one who is insecure - Some of the people I talked with were as nervous as me. I could see it in their eyes. (Pardon the pun) It was like a showdown in a Western. Who would be the first to draw their eyes away? Surprisingly, I won a few times. Not so surprisingly, I lost too.

Time does not fly when you’re making eye contact - I swear I stared at people for 10 minutes before one of us finally broke contact. Truth be told it probably wasn’t even two seconds, but it’s amazing the thoughts that can run through your mind in a matter of seconds.

I’m better than I used to be - Three years ago you were lucky to even know my eye color unless I told you. Looking at people was something I didn’t care to do. I didn’t want people to know me and I certainly didn’t want to know people. Oh the work that God can do! It took a long time for me to even know the eye color of one of my very best friends because I was filled with too much shame to look at her.

Making eye contact is awkward, but necessary - I noticed when engaging in conversation, even though my palms were sweating the whole time, that it’s much easier to build credibility and trust with someone when you look them in the eyes. It brings more transparency to the conversation.

It makes others smile  - I looked strangers in the eyes and smiled. Perhaps it was more the smile than anything, but I think it comes back to that transparency. I took the time at the gas station to look into the eyes of the clerk, then smile. Her smile was genuine because I think she felt that mine was as well.

I would love to hear your thoughts…

Question: Is making eye contact a struggle for you? If so, what do you do to get rid of the awkwardness? Comment below.. 

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