Why Friendships are Worth Fighting For

I went on a road trip adventure with my friend Jammie recently. We had a fabulous day. We got lost about four times, though she claimed to know where she was going. On the back roads of Arkansas we drove, talked, laughed, and gave glory to God for how different our lives are now compared to six years ago.

Why Friendships are Worth Fighting For

Our friendship is proof that God can restore anything. 

In 2007, I wasn’t sure the above words would ever be true. We were in a place of desperation and our friendship was holding on by a thread. There were days of bitterness toward one another. Cross words. Looks that could kill. We were stuck that way because we lived together. There was no avoiding each other.

I can be a pretty stubborn person. Most times it gets me into trouble, but there are those few times that it pays off. My refusal to give up on this friendship was one of those times. Jammie was ready to quit. Walking away was the only option she saw.

I thought we could try one more thing before we walked away from our friendship forever. Counseling. She reluctantly agreed. Perhaps part of me wanted to save the friendship because she knew too much about me and would use it against me when I became famous. Just kidding. Sort of.

Yes.. we went to a counselor to save our friendship. 

It was awkward, of course, but worth it. We sat as far apart as possible and avoided eye contact. I have to wonder what the counselor was thinking, but she saw our hearts breaking. She knew we needed help. Even after I lost my job during this devastating time in our lives, she volunteered her time. Talk about making an investment into the lives of others.

We started to communicate with each other. It took a few months to talk to each other without me yelling and she walking away crying, but we made it. I’d love to say a few counseling sessions and all was well, but that’s not reality.

It took several years to get our friendship back to a level of real trust. Both of our hearts had been broken, but we knew if we kept investing into the relationship, things had to get better. It finally did.

Today our friendship is stronger than it ever has been. 

Being goofyAs we sat over lunch after church last Sunday, I was reminded again of the restoration God provided. Those days of bitterness and unforgiveness were far behind us. We talked about our struggles, gave God praise for the things He has done in our lives and the lives of others, and hugged each other before we drove off.

God is the redeemer of time. 

There are those friendships that are worth fighting for, even if you have to go to a counselor to do it. If we had given up on each other, I can’t imagine how different our lives would be today. There would be a void without Jammie’s friendship in my life. I can’t imagine not sharing my pain, and my victories with her. I’m so honored she desires to do the same with me.

Don’t simply walk away because it’s too much work to restore a relationship. Some things are worth fighting for.

Have you ever fought to save a friendship? Was it worth the fight? Leave a comment below… 

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  • Lou

    Great post! Glory to God for His goodness! I haven’t had to fight for all of my closest long term friendships, but have fought to keep a few. It often reminds me how we have to fight for our marriage, our job relationships, our church relationships, etc. The common denominator is LOVE and FORGIVENESS.

  • Ahh, important topic to be sure. We had a couple that were in our wedding, and good friends. They “unfriended” us for two years! We were stunned, they later really regretted it. I never stopped trying to reach out, kept sending invitations to parties etc. One day they responded. Yes. It took some time, and they were so sorry and felt they were wrong. I was glad I didn’t give up, becasue some times I have and I look back with regret.

  • Nancy Silvers

    Great post…sadly, I have lost friendships that I didn’t fight for and I still wonder what it would have been like to have taken the time to restore them. At the time, I didn’t think I was worth it and they were better off without me. Of course, I know that I am a valuable child of God and hope that I would fight for a broken friendship today. I have wonderful Christian sisters that I would fight to restore our friendship if anything came between us ,for the value of the friendship and also so the brokenness would not hinder my walk with Christ.

  • annepeterson

    What a necessary post. Thanks Sundi Jo. I have lost friends where they walked away and the hurt ran deep. I can just say that sometimes when you are ready, the other person has moved on. Only God can bring restoration. It’s his specialty. Thanks for posting. I’m sure God will use this post in a mighty way.

  • Margaret Feinberg

    Sundi, what an amazing friendship to be blessed with!

  • The older I get the more I realize how precious the friends are who will fight for your friendship. I think most people’s natural inclination is to run when things get difficult. But those friends who are willing to get into the ugly and not give up? That is the hard work of friendship and an evidence of grace in our lives. Beautiful story, Sundi Jo!

    • Thanks, Jessica. Here’s to building a great friendship with you.

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  • I have a friend like that. We’ve been through some really good times together, and there have been times we wouldn’t talk to each other. But God always heals our relationship. She’s the sister I never had, and i can’t imagine not having her in my life. God uses her in so many ways. And there have been times I have been able to be there for her. We don’t keep track, we know everything about each other and love each other anyway. That’s true friendship! That’s God’s love in human form. And I thank God for a friend like her.

  • Crystal Watson

    I just lost a friendship that would have been 10 years next August! Please help.