The first time I met Gary Smalley, we sat across from each other at the dinner table, surrounded by the ugliest wall paper you’ve ever seen in your life. Someone said he was a famous author, but honestly, I didn’t have a clue. You think that would’ve hurt his ego, but not at all.
I was a student at the Table Rock Freedom Center and he stopped by to have dinner with all of us girls. He didn’t talk about the 60 books he’d written. He didn’t share about his multiple appearances on Oprah. He didn’t tell us about the thousands of marriages he had poured into.
Nope.. he talked to us about his struggles with pride and how they almost destroyed his career and his marriage. He talked about God’s grace weaving in and out of his life. He cried as we shared stories of our own struggles in life – struggles with addiction, sadness, suicide, shame, fear, doubt, etc.
Most of my life I struggled with a fear of men, believing they were all out to hurt me eventually. I was still working through this fear when Gary joined us for dinner. But there was something different about the man eating a typical Monday evening meal with us. There was this peace – the peace of Christ present in the room. There was an unexplainable joy. A comforting warmth came from his smile reminding me everything would be okay. Safety.
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Throughout my year-long stay, Gary came back for a visit multiple times. Each time he returned, he shared more stories of grace and truth and love. But most importantly… he listened. He wanted to know our stories. Once during our visit, he grabbed my hands and said, “You should write a book.” Little did I know He was prophesying over me.
As my Facebook feed filled last week with news from Christianity Today, Focus on the Family, and various other news outlets, honoring the life of Gary, I couldn’t help but read each one with awe. Here they were, talking about a man who rubbed elbows with celebrities, wrote best-selling books, and traveled the world helping marriages. It’s almost as though I was reading about someone else.
They were talking about Dr. Gary Smalley, relationship expert. But I knew Gary, the gentle, funny, heartfelt, merciful man who desired to genuinely pour into others and buy you lunch every chance he could get. The man whose hugs on Sunday mornings at church would brighten your whole day, maybe your whole week.
But here’s the thing.. There was no difference. He was who he was all the time, whether standing on a stage speaking to thousands of people, or joining you for lunch. His love for Jesus – his passion for serving – inspired you to draw closer to Jesus. It did me anyway.
I am a better person for having known Gary. I am a better leader because of his servant’s heart to pour into me. I am a better disciple because of his willingness to speak God’s truth into my life. I am a better friend because of his wisdom in teaching me about the importance of healthy communication in relationships.
As I help women find freedom through Esther’s House, his passion, teachings, and wisdom will be carried forth into the lives of future generations.
May I leave half the legacy Gary left. May I pour into others the same way he poured into me. May I speak graceful truth into the lives of those longing to be disciples. May I continue to build strong friendships the way he did.
But most importantly, may my life ooze the love of Jesus into this crazy world the same way his did.
Thank you, Gary. May your eternity with Jesus be all that you ever dreamed and imagined it would be, and more.
[reminder]Do you have a favorite memory of Gary?[/reminder]
Sad to loose him.
Yes it is.
I love this post, Sundi Jo. It’s a beautiful tribute to a man who had an enormous impact on me, too.
Thanks, Michael. I can imagine he did.
What a kind post! You’ll never know the blessing it is to read how my father impacted you!
Thank you, Michael. His memorial service was beautiful. I wanted to introduce myself but so many others were present I didn’t want to bother you. I hope you get that new truck soon. 🙂