The more I interact with people in this messy, beautiful, crazy journey called life, the more I experience heartbreak. The more I feel pain and sorrow for those who are hurting.
I sit with women at Esther’s House as they process trauma from their childhood, the broken relationships they’ve endured, the countless nights they spent trying to get high to avoid the pain, never wanting to be known as an addict. My heart hurts.
I sit on the porch with one of my dearest friends, who happens to be my next door neighbor, almost every morning as we have coffee together and solve the world’s problems. Sometimes we talk about how amazing God is. Sometimes we watch the rabbits chasing each other in the yard and laugh. Sometimes we dream about the future. Sometimes we cry as we talk about the hurts from our past and the struggles in our present. Oh.. if I had a penny for every tear that’s been shed on her back porch, I’d be a rich woman.
I get the phone call from a friend who says her loved one has died and my heart hurts again. I hear of another friend who has relapsed. And another who’s left her boyfriend and sits in her heartbreak wondering if she’ll spend the rest of her life alone.
My heart hurts and I say the only thing I think I can say in the moment….
Does your fork have more meaning than just digging into dessert? What if it represents something deeper? Something with more substance?
In today’s episode of #coffeewithsj, I’m sharing a story to inspire you to focus on more than just what’s in front of you.
In 2001, I packed my bags and moved 400 miles to the city I’d dreamed about for years. Since I was a little girl in the small town of Belle, Mo., I knew someday I’d either live in Hollywood and be an actress or move to Nashville and write songs so I could hear other people sing them on the radio. At 18 years old, I chose Nashville.
“I want to be a songwriter,” I told my family. They all thought I was crazy, but I went anyway. I pulled into “Music City” with my pickup truck and a suitcase full of dreams.
I wanted to be a songwriter but I didn’t have the first clue what I was doing. When people would ask me what I was doing there, as I waited tables at Shoney’s, I’d say, “I want to write songs.” I didn’t want to be a singer. I didn’t want to be in a band. I just wanted to write. Looking back on that time I realize there was a very important piece of the puzzle missing.
Jeff Goins writes in his new book, Real Artists Don’t Starve,
Eventually, you have to decide who you are. You have to choose your role and own that identity. We don’t fake it till we make it. We believe it till we become it.
Do you have a friend who is willing to call you up when you’re not living the life God has designed for you?
Are you that friend to someone else?
Proverbs 27:6 says, “Wounds from sincere friends are better than many kisses from an enemy.”
Confrontation isn’t comfortable, but we’re called to be brave. To confront. To love.
Others are often surprised to learn I’m not a fan of confrontation. Because I serve in different areas of leadership, it comes with an automatic assumption that calling people out, holding others accountable, and dealing with confrontation comes easy for me.
I can promise you that it doesn’t.
Confrontation is never easy for me, but I know it’s necessary. It’s necessary in all of our lives. Yours, mine, and the guy next door.
There usually isn’t a day that goes by I don’t have to muster up the courage to confront an issue, whether that’s talking through a hard topic with our Freedom Finders at Esther’s House, talking through something with a friend, etc.
Confronting hard situations takes courage.