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photo credit: d petzold photography (creative commons)


I like to read. Okay, that may be a bit of an understatement.
I love to read!
I’m a fast reader so it doesn’t take me long to finish a book. But one book I’ve been working through slowly is The 4-Hour Workweek by Timothy Ferris. He has given me many things to think about and he actually puts practices and exercises in the book for you to take part in.
He recently challenged me to take part in what he calls The Eye Gaze. Ferris challenges his readers to practice gazing into the eyes of others for two days, whether it’s people on the street or conversational partners.
The kicker?
You have to do it until they break the gaze. 
Since my word for 2012 is Radical, I thought to myself, why not give it a try? 
The result?

In the last few days I’ve learned several things from Ferris’ Eye Gaze test.
I’m still very insecure when it comes to looking people in the eyes – What are they thinking right now? Are they paying attention to my teenage acne and the dark circles under my eyes caused by two of my arch enemies, hormonal imbalance and insomnia? Why are they still staring? What am I supposed to do now?
I’m not the only one who is insecure – Some of the people I talked with were as nervous as me. I could see it in their eyes. (Pardon the pun) It was like a showdown in a Western. Who would be the first to draw their eyes away? Surprisingly, I won a few times. Not so surprisingly, I lost too.
Time does not fly when you’re making eye contact – I swear I stared at people for 10 minutes before one of us finally broke contact. Truth be told it probably wasn’t even two seconds, but it’s amazing the thoughts that can run through your mind in a matter of seconds.
I’m better than I used to be – Three years ago you were lucky to even know my eye color unless I told you. Looking at people was something I didn’t care to do. I didn’t want people to know me and I certainly didn’t want to know people. Oh the work that God can do! It took a long time for me to even know the eye color of one of my very best friends because I was filled with too much shame to look at her.
Making eye contact is awkward, but necessary – I noticed when engaging in conversation, even though my palms were sweating the whole time, that it’s much easier to build credibility and trust with someone when you look them in the eyes. It brings more transparency to the conversation.
It makes others smile  – I looked strangers in the eyes and smiled. Perhaps it was more the smile than anything, but I think it comes back to that transparency. I took the time at the gas station to look into the eyes of the clerk, then smile. Her smile was genuine because I think she felt that mine was as well.
I would love to hear your thoughts…
Question: Is making eye contact a struggle for you? If so, what do you do to get rid of the awkwardness? Comment below.. 

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