What happens when I don’t have the words to put into a blog post? You get the nitty gritty of a not-so-great moment in my life. Here goes it:
May I be raw and just lay it out?
photo credit: landavid (creative commons)
I’m not in the mood for people…
My heart hurts and I’m not dealing with it like I should…
This headache is on my nerves…
This post was originally published on August 17, 2012.
Today I have faced sadness, hope, triumph, and the gentle touch of God.
I drove a friend and mentor to his radiation treatments this afternoon. It was my honor and privilege to do so. I have been inspired by Sandy Steward and his walk in the faith. This is his third time in the ballgame of cancer and he’s refusing to strike out.
As we pulled into the parking lot of the treatment center a familiar feeling washed over me. I stepped into the waiting room and flashbacks filled my mind. Two chairs from where Sandy and I sat was the same place I sat with my father over a year ago. I remember staring at my “pop” as we waited for his name to be called for the first treatment. His leg was shaking 90 miles/hr. He was scared to death. So was I. Both of us were too prideful to admit it.
We all like to please people in one way or another. It’s part of our nature. I love to see the smiles on the faces of my loved ones when I do something that makes them proud. It warms my heart. I love to see people happy when I’ve been able to do something good for them, whether that’s giving them a simple hug or spending quality time with them.
What about when we get so stuck on pleasing others we’re actually harming them and ourselves?
photo credit: _ambrown (creative commons)
When Jesus was turned over to Pilate to be crucified, he could find no fault in Jesus. But he had to worry about pleasing the Roman government. That’s why he was put into that position – to keep the peace. If he went against the people, all hell would break loose and word would get back to the Romans. Pilate was more concerned about politics than doing was was right.
“Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall.”
In 1987 Ronald Reagan made those words famous as he gave a speech to the people of West Berlin. Mikhail Gorbachev got a challenge to provide freedom for the Germans. After Reagan made that speech, the obvious could no longer be ignored.
photo credit: snrang (creative commons)
When I think about it, I have been in the exact place Gorbachev was. Though he wanted to control people, I wanted to control the little girl inside of me from coming out to see the world. She had been hurt too much. Building walls up around my heart kept her from coming out and kept people from getting too close. Afterall, if they really knew me, they wouldn’t want to get close anyway.
Leadership isn’t always an easy thing. Any leader knows that. Perhaps it’s even harder to be a Christian leader. Why? Because the standards put on you can be exceedingly high. All eyes are on you.
photo credit: gelle.dk (creative commons)
As a leader, you are the quarterback of the team. Each player in the game relies on your wisdom, truth, guidance and correction. Higher expectations quickly become placed on you.
The other team obviously has a target on your back. They don’t want you to play your A-game. But what if your own team members are aiming at the target as well? All eyes are still on you and people are waiting to see what your next step will be. In your role as a leader, this is bound to happen at least once. People aren’t always for you. Unfortunately, there is usually one rotten egg in the bunch.
I met Jennifer in 2008. Well, I guess you could say we met. Shame kept me from making eye contact with her, but I knew nonetheless there was something special about this lady. Little did I know God would use our histories to change the lives of generations to come.
I have learned many valuable lessons through the course of my friendship with Jennifer. One of those lessons:
Be careful what you pray for.
I’ve had the honor of writing for Prodigal Magazine, which has graciously featured this article on the power of obedience and how our choices affect the generations after us.
How hard it is to believe that I can trust people?
How difficult it is to believe that not every man I meet is out to get me?
photo credit: elycefeliz (creative commons)
How hard it is to initiate conversation with someone of the opposite sex?
How hard it is to believe that God has created someone to love me for me?
Take a moment before you read this post and clear your mind. Close your Facebook window. Minimize your email.
Think about something you love to do, or something you’ve never done that you would love to.
photo credit: puuikibeach (creative commons)
What’s keeping you from making those things happen? Is your weight part of the problem? Let me tell that if your weight is keeping you from pursuing dreams and passions,
I understand how you feel.
I understand because I once was there. The frustrations of the ups and downs of weight loss. The yo-yo diets. The shame behind a food addiction. Avoiding people because we’re not happy with who we are. Pretending to be funny and the star of the show so the real focus isn’t on what’s going on behind the laughter.
The definition of submission according to Dictionary.com is to give over or yield to the power or authority of another.
Don’t cringe yet. Stay with me here. The word authority used to make me cringe. Add the word submission to that and my stomach turned. Honestly, sometimes it still does. Why?
photo credit: elycefeliz (creative commons)
Authority could not be trusted, especially the authority of a man.
I lived with this belief most of my life. It’s only over the last two years that God has begun to change my heart. We’re going through the book of Colossians at my church right now, and yesterday was the big day. The gasps in the crowd gave it away when the words “Wives, submit to your husbands,” filled the air. Two years ago I would have been one of those gasping. I would have rolled my eyes and blew it off with an “It ain’t happening!”
