photo credit: flickr (creative commons)
Today I’m back to part three of the Restoration series. Remind me again why I decided to process this with all of you on a blog? Oh yes.. It held me accountable to do it. Thanks.
In case you haven’t been keeping up, here is part one and two of the series to get you caught up:
The Beginning of Restoration
She Really Answered – Part Two of the Restoration Series
She said in a genuine voice, “I’m looking forward to seeing you.”
And I said in a genuine voice, “Me too.” I meant it.
I hung up the phone and waited for Skeeter to pinch me. Was this real? Thirteen years of silence had just been broken. In one week I would see the woman I had once despised face to face.
Then Monday came. We decided to meet at Ruby Tuesdays. Okay, actually I decided to meet at Ruby Tuesdays. My emotions were telling me I wanted pizza, a cheesburger, as much chocolate as I could get my hands on, and anything else I could think of. I opted for the salad bar. P.S. I’m a sucker for Edamame. I order the all-you-can-eat salad bar and load my plate with the yummiest soybeans ever!
Ok – back on track.
We were to meet at noon. I showed up at 11:45 and sat in the booth trying to picture how this meeting was going to go. What if she really wasn’t happy to see me? Was I supposed to hug her? Perhaps I should just shake her hand? Should I smile with all my teeth or my mouth closed? What if she doesn’t show up?
My mind was running a thousand miles per hour and my hands were shaking. I stared at the clock on my phone contemplating whether I should just leave and forget this whole thing ever happened. I still had time to sneak out before she got here. Even if she was here perhaps she wouldn’t recognize me. We hadn’t seen each other in 13 years. It was a great plan. I could dart out and just put it all past me.
I wanted to see her. I didn’t want to see her. I wanted to hug her. I wanted to throw up. I wanted to run.
Then there she was..
She walked around the corner and our eyes met. It was too late to run. I don’t remember standing up, but all of a sudden there we were embracing each other. Thirteen years of distance had been tossed out with a hug; a hug I had no idea how much I desperately wanted. I was trying really hard to cry. Get it together Sundi Jo. She’s only been here for 30 seconds.
She looked different, yet the same. The last time she saw me I weighed over 230 pounds. To her, I was an entirely different person. We sat down as I silently prayed, “God, you’ve got to direction this conversation. I have no clue what I’m doing.” I can imagine she was thinking the same thing.
“You look great,” she said with a huge smile.
“Thank you.”
We figured up the time since we had last seen each other and made small talk. Our poor waitress knew she was in for the long haul when she came to the table three times and we couldn’t even remember the menus were in front of us. Perhaps my shaking hands gave her the clue that I had no idea what I was doing. I think I remembered to order water if that counts.
As we made more small talk I started to realize that soon we would be talking about the subject I had wanted to avoid – my dad. Of course I knew it was coming, but I wasn’t ready for it. I’m not sure you can be ready for something like that. We finally ordered, filled our plates at the salad bar, and there was that known silence in the air that the unavoidable subject was about to begin.
I wasn’t ready for the truth that would soon hit me.
To be continued…