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Reba’s Imperfect Performance: A Lesson in Authenticity and Perseverance

Reba’s Imperfect Performance: A Lesson in Authenticity and Perseverance

I haven’t watched The Voice in years, but when Reba announced she was joining the team, I knew I wasn’t missing it. Then, add a 16-year-old Missouri gal like Ruby, who can sing your socks off. I was hooked!

Reba and Ruby teamed up on the finale to sing “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree.” Right out of the gate, Reba forgot the words. 

A musical legend…

A woman who’s been on more stages than most people will be on in a lifetime…

25 #1 songs…

3 Grammys…

…And a partridge in a pear tree

And she messed up on live television! 

And I loved every minute of it! You mean, I’m celebrating because Reba screwed up? Absolutely not. 

I loved it because it was real. No B.S. No starting over. No pretending like she had it all together. And what I loved even more was that she didn’t let it stop her. She didn’t skip a beat. She kept going. She kept singing. She kept smiling. She kept entertaining. 

And she showed that extremely talented, sweet 16-year-old girl who people will try to devour in this business and the other amazingly talented contestants how to be a true performer. 

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She didn’t quit. 

She didn’t run away. 

She kept moving forward and kicked butt and took names. 

Not only did she show them, but she showed me and the rest of us who are chasing this dream called music how to keep holding our heads up high and keep moving forward when we have a setback. 

And she showed us authenticity. Something the world is starving for right now. 

When I saw her in concert last year, she couldn’t hit a high note in a specific song because she started having a coughing fit. She’d been fighting off something for a few days. 

She kept moving forward, got a tissue, blew her nose, and kept on singing. She barely missed a beat. 

But what I loved even more is that she could’ve just thrown that used tissue down on the ginormous stage and had someone pick it up. Nope… she kept it in her hand, kept singing, kept doing her thing, and got rid of it as she and her band transitioned from one song to another. 

Such professionalism and humility. 

The world needs more Reba’s. And Ruby’s, too! 

Photo Credit: Taste of Country

Discovering the Joy of Coffee, Conversations, and Community in Bible Study

Discovering the Joy of Coffee, Conversations, and Community in Bible Study

In August, my best friend Jammie and I started a Bible Study, diving into “Authority in Prayer” by Dutch Sheets. We had no idea what God had in mind, but we knew that if we showed up, He would show up. And just wow! Has He ever!

For the last four months, we’ve sat around each Wednesday morning at Coffee on the Rocks in Hollister, Mo., studying the Word of God, learning what walking in the true authority of Christ looks like, laughing, crying, and all the things.

We’ve had discussions that would make the church uncomfortable yet remained focused on Jesus. (Sit in that statement for a second.) We’ve had hard conversations. We’ve overcome offenses and fear.

We’ve seen spiritual warfare happen right before our very eyes, and we’ve seen the power of God do His thing, all while sipping a cup of coffee. And we’re only in chapter seven of the book.

We didn’t have anyone in mind when we decided to host this study. We just posted on Facebook, invited peeps to join us, and waited. Each Wednesday morning, we gather with women from different churches and walks of life. Man, is it a beautiful thing!

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In the last four months, God has changed me, and He’s done it through watching and growing in the Word with these beautiful women. Wednesday mornings are my favorite day of the week.

This morning, Jammie and I changed things up a bit and had the honor of serving these beautiful souls breakfast. We shared what we want to experience with God in 2024, talked about our identities in Christ as we continue to walk in the authority God has called us to, and took communion together. I wish I could package it up and sell it to you, but it’s pretty priceless.

If you’re not in a community, find one.

If you’re not having conversations with people who challenge you, start having them.

If you’re not laughing with strangers who quickly become friends, start now.

If you’re not surrounding yourself with people who will encourage you, call you up, and love you well, go out and find those people. They exist, I promise.

Community is beautiful!

Strings of Remembrance: A Banjo, a Bet, and a Beloved Friend

Strings of Remembrance: A Banjo, a Bet, and a Beloved Friend

One day my sweet friend Billy Cook looked at me and said, “I bet I can teach you to play the banjo in less than a minute.” I told him he was crazy. You don’t just learn the banjo in 60 seconds.

“You wanna bet?” He asked. So we made a wager right there in church (neither of us was struck by lightning).

Then he pulled out a 6-string banjo and said, “Here ya go. I win!” I didn’t even know a 6-string banjo existed. You can play it just like a guitar. It’s seriously the coolest thing since Betty White. And for the first time in my life, I played the banjo. It was so cool! He let me take it home for a few weeks and play around with it. We always talked about shopping for one but never made it happen.

When he went to be with Jesus in May, my heart was broken. I was on vacation and didn’t get the opportunity to give him a last farewell. It felt a lot like losing another grandpa. But man, are we gonna jam out in heaven one day.

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I loved playing music with him at church. He would always make sure I had a place to sit next to him so I could watch his fingers. Playing with a bunch of guys who’ve been playing music longer than I’ve been alive ain’t for the faint of heart.

Someone would say, “Let’s play this the key of C,” and I’d look at Billy like a deer in headlights. He’d say, “Put your capo here and just follow my fingers.” And so I would, and sure enough, I could keep up with the best of them.

One of my greatest desires was to have that banjo, and the Lord graciously answered my prayer. I picked it up this weekend while in Belle, and it will forever be one of my most prized possessions.

When I opened the case, I found a few handwritten lyrics Billy had written down so he could play some songs at church. I wanted to weep at the sight but held it back since I was getting ready to do a show and didn’t want to smear my mascara.

I will forever treasure this banjo, and I will forever treasure his handwritten devotion to spreading the Gospel through music.

‘Til we meet again, Billy, I’ll take good care of it.

I’m Turning 40! Time to Reflect!

I’m Turning 40! Time to Reflect!

As I prepare to close out a decade and dive into another one, I’ve been reflecting a lot.

Wow, I’m about to say goodbye to my 30’s. A lot has happened in the last 10 years. I’ve experienced so many losses but also gained so so much.

Ministry.
Moving back to my hometown of Belle (kicking and screaming).
The loss of two mentors (Gary Smalley & Scott-Arthur Allen) almost simultaneously.
Growing with a new church family and watching God change hearts in Celebrate Recovery.
Watching that same church fall apart because of pride, discord, gossip, and hurting people hurting people.
Making friends that you know will always be there for you.
The loss of friendships I never saw coming.
Healing of past trauma that made me despise my hometown.
Watching God change hearts because of His story of redemption in my life.
The death of my step-mom.
Black mold that almost wiped me out.
Healing from the aftereffects of the mold.
More healing in my heart as God continued to work through past trauma.
Strengthened relationships with family.
Heartbreak and broken relationships with family.
Loving my best friend through both the ups and downs of foster care.
Playing a part in the miracle of adoption and becoming the best aunt ever.
I met the man I thought I would marry and picked up the pieces after heartbreak.
Losing my job and getting it back an hour later because, well, God… (Powerful story for another day)
The death of my friend by suicide.
Planting flowers with my grandma Virginia.
Watching a ministry God called me to tumble to the ground from the actions of people I trusted.
Resting in His promises of justice instead of defending myself.
Watching God bring that justice through apologies a few years later.
The death of two dogs.
Teaching men and women in prison how to find their value so they no longer have to stay stuck in their pasts.
God renewed my desire to pursue songwriting as more than just a hobby.
Skin removal surgery.
The death of my aunt Sherri.
A renewed relationship with family I never expected.
God calling me back to Branson without the complete picture of why.
Leaving Belle behind after 7 years with a grateful heart for what God did, along with a sadness to leave my hometown.
I walked with my best friend through months of watching her husband almost lose his life due to illness.
Seeing God do a miracle in their lives.
I prayed for my stepdad to walk out of the fire from the enemy’s attacks and see him rise out of the ashes.
Finding a new church family.
Experiencing spiritual warfare at a whole new level.
Fighting for a friendship I never thought I’d have to fight for.
The death of my grandpa Wimp.
The death of my aunt Vicki.
God called me to not just write songs but pursue the calling of creating music as an artist.
Alpha-gal and other health struggles.
3 single-song contracts, 2 music releases, relationship building with people in the music business, and a partridge in a pear tree.

I have so much to be thankful for! The last 10 years have been both challenging and incredible.

I’ve experienced devastation, and I’ve seen miracles. And this I know… I would not have survived my 30s without God’s protection. Without clinging to Him like my life depended on it because my life depended on it.

At 39, I know things I didn’t know at 30. And as I prepare to embark on my 40s, I’ll learn something I didn’t know in my 30s.

I am so blessed – blessed by so many things I don’t deserve, but God’s goodness is well… so so good.

Here’s to saying goodbye to my 30s and H.E.L.L.O. to a new decade of awesomeness!

I Saw the Circle

I Saw the Circle

I saw it. The six-foot-wide circle of oak where legends have stood and where the legends-in-the-making dream about standing. But I didn’t just see it. No, I saw it from an angle I never dreamed would happen. I saw it from the back of the stage of the Grand Ole Opry, where those same legends walked. Excuse me while I still pinch myself. 

I inched my way closer to the right as one of those legends took the stage and caught a glimpse of the circle. And I tried to remain calm and adult well. It was tough.  

I saw the packed house in the crowd and thought to myself, they see the circle, too, but not like this. And at that moment, I was really glad I’d gone to the bathroom before showtime because the excitement and nerves would’ve made my bladder sing its own tune. 

But I’m getting ahead of myself. 

You see, I wasn’t supposed to be at the Opry that night. I’d made a quick trip to Nashville for a couple of meetings, a co-write, and a writer’s round. While scrolling through Instagram stories, I saw that Pam Tillis would be gracing the circle my last evening in Nashville. The next thing I know, my friend Cindy is saying things like, “We need to leave by 5:30. We’ll go to dinner first. Pam put our name on the guest list.” 

Again, I tried to remain calm and not pee my pants. It’s fine. I’m fine. Everything’s fine. Or maybe it’s not. Perhaps I should get my bladder checked, or does that just come with age? 

As we found our way to the parking lot, I was pretty sure Missouri could hear my heartbeat from there. I was about to meet Pam Tillis. As we walked through the Artist Entrance, I was trying to grasp the reality that hundreds of artists have walked that same way many times; George Jones, Merle Haggard, Loretta Lynn, Mel Tillis, and even my buddy Paul Harris of The Cleverly’s, most recently. 

Be calm, Sundi Jo. Act cool. You’re fine. Smile. Breathe. 

I repeated that in my head several times as we walked through the halls, and again after I looked to my left and there sat John Conlee in his dressing room. Oh, my grandma’s gonna freak! 

Be calm, Sundi Jo. Act cool. You’re fine. Smile. Breathe. 

And then there it was… the sign on the door reading, “Women of Country.” We walked in, and there she was, the one and only Pam Tillis strapping on a guitar and getting ready to warm up for her set with the band. 

I sat on the couch and took a deep breath as I noticed I was surrounded by pictures on the wall of Women in Country staring back at me. Reba, Terri Clark, Minnie Pearl, Kitty Wells, Loretta, Tammy, and Jean Shepherd were there. And, of course, there was Dolly Parton. 

Be calm, Sundi Jo. Act cool. You’re fine. Smile. Breathe. 

And then there was music. And I sat in the dressing room, and tears started to well up as Pam rehearsed “Last Summer’s Wine.” 

Ain’t it funny how memories/Grow sweeter with time/Here’s to you and me/And last summer’s wine. 

This was really happening. Right. In. Front. Of. Me. And I tried to suck the tears back. 

Be calm, Sundi Jo. Act cool. You’re fine. Smile. Breathe. 

But you see, all that’s hard to do when what’s happening right in front of you aligns with your dreams and desires to create songs for a living. Pam isn’t just a singer. She’s an amazing songwriter. “Spilled Perfume” is one of my favorite songs. I love the emotion and the way the words flow together so well. 

As a fan, it was so hard to wrap my mind around this moment, and as a songwriter, hearing the words come alive right before my very eyes moved me in a way that’s hard to describe. Music does that, ya know. 

And then she broke into one of her dad’s songs, ya know, the legend Mel Tillis, and my heart melted for my beautiful friend Cindy. To me, Mel’s a Country Music icon. To Cindy, he was “daddy.” I know where my emotions were. I can’t imagine where hers were. 

I love when God smiles on us just when we need it. Father’s Day had just passed. Cindy didn’t know Pam would sing one of his songs to honor him. Here I thought I was the one getting the cool gift, but God was loving on us both in different ways. 

And then it was showtime, and we all got up and started walking toward the stage. Like, the stage? The Opry stage? Me? I’m going? 

Be calm, Sundi Jo. Act cool. You’re fine. Smile. Breathe. 

As Pam walked confidently, leading the path for the rest of us to get backstage, I was reminded of all those who’d walked before her, leading that same path. I was literally walking where legends had walked, and I was struggling so much to wrap my head around all of it. I hadn’t had time to prepare. 

And as Pam was preparing to go on, rising artist and singer of “Huntin’ Season,” Mackenzie Carpenter, was walking off the stage after just making her Grand Ole Opry debut. I had just unexpectedly watched a dream come true for another artist. It was incredible! 

And then I saw it… the circle. 

And I watched Pam Tillis open with “When You Walk in the Room,” and I once again tried to grasp that this was my current reality. Then Cindy reached over and whispered, “Someday, someone will be singing your songs on that stage.” Prophetic words, I believe. 

Be calm, Sundi Jo. Act cool. You’re fine. Smile. Breathe. 

We walked back to the dressing room after the set, and that was it. The end. It was time for the band to pack up and go home. It was time for Pam to get ready for her next tour stop. And it was time for Cindy and me to head home so I could pack up and head back to Missouri the next day. 

It was time to return to normal. But I don’t think it’s that easy. You see, some moments change your life, and there are moments that you just never come back from the same. This was that. 

Was it because I walked where legends walked? Partly. Was it because I met Pam Tillis? Partly. Was it because I saw my sweet friend Cindy hear one of her dad’s songs sung in the circle? Partly. But it was also a reminder to me that my dreams and desire to be a professional songwriter are inches away from becoming a reality. It was a reminder to keep dreaming, pushing through the hard, and jumping over the rejections because a yes is coming. 

Those women on the walls in the dressing room did the same. They dreamed. They did. They worked hard. They pushed through the rejections. And because of it, the world knows Terri Clark, Loretta Lynn, Dolly Parton, and of course, Pam Tillis. 

I finally remembered to breathe when we got in the car, and as I write this, I’m still trying to grasp the reality of all of it – the reality of a girl’s dreams coming true. And the reality that I saw the circle.

Be calm, Sundi Jo. Act cool. You’re fine. Smile. Breathe. 

Rediscovering Identity: Escaping the Pit of Homosexuality

Rediscovering Identity: Escaping the Pit of Homosexuality

I had to run some errands in Springfield the other day and happened to be downtown. The Lord led me to drive by this place.  I’ve not been by that place in over 15 years. It definitely wasn’t a coincidence that God would lead me there at the start of pride month. 

No one was behind me, so I just stopped in the road for a minute and thanked God for His love; for pulling me out of the pit of the darkness; for showing me How much He loved me; and for setting me free from the lies I believed about who I was. 

I spent many weekends in this bar, drinking, laughing, dancing, and watching drag shows. I mentioned laughing because I was at that moment “having the time of my life” until one day, I realized that laughter was a coping mechanism to keep me from dealing with the true loneliness in my soul. 

I was so lost I couldn’t see straight. So broken. So desperate for something more, but I didn’t know what it was. There was a desperation to belong; for a moment, I thought I’d found where I belonged. But I would always wake up with that desperation still stirring in my soul. 

The enemy had stolen my identity as a small child. Confusion, chaos, fear, rejection, abandonment, and the list goes on… they kept me from knowing who I truly was, who God designed me to be, the plans He had for me, and the dreams He desired for me. 

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But God… 

“I waited patiently for the Lord to help me, and he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out of the mud and the mire.

He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along. He has given me a new song to sing, a hymn of praise to our God.” – Psalm 40:1-3

Honestly, the first part of that Scripture isn’t true for me. I didn’t wait patiently for God, but He sure did wait patiently for me. And when I invited Him to set me free from the despair in my soul, whatever that would look like, He accepted the invitation and pulled me out of the pit.

And frankly, He still has to pull me out of the pit regularly. I can get myself into some stuff, let me tell ya. 

I don’t know how I ever did life without Him, and though I don’t want to reminisce and sit in the old memories of my life, I also never want to forget the pit He pulled me out of. 

Sitting on the road, I thought of a few different memories of my time inside that bar, and I didn’t get sad. I didn’t get mad at myself. I didn’t sit in shame. No, I smiled and thanked God for His love, grace, and mercy. And I thanked Him for pulling me out of the pit. 

And then I prayed… Prayed for every person who walks through those doors to realize God can pull them out of the pit. That God can show them who they truly are, not who the enemy wants them to believe they are. 

And then I drove home with a grateful heart. 

  

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